Starting -- Cycle 1

Saturday was day 1 of my cycle (the mother of all cycles, believe me, was sure glad I wore black pants to a wedding over the weekend). I was surprised that it happened so fast since my last dose of Prevara was on Thursday, but glad that it's going.
I'm scheduled for my Hysterosalpingogram on day 11 with a Dr. appointment on day 12, so we'll see what happens there.
I'm thinking that the Metformin gives me problems when I don't take it on a full stomach (I guess toast and yogurt won't cut it for breakfast any more).

Overall my stress level (in this department that is, trust me, there are several stress departments in my brain), has been very low. I'm not sure if this is how people who don't struggle with infertility approach getting pregnant, as a matter-of-fact thing that will eventually happen. The feelings that I had before my last pregnancies of uncertainty are nonexistent. Maybe it's because I'm at the beginning stages, so many unknowns at this point: if the Metformin will work this time around or if I need to take the Avandia again (even with the risk of liver toxicity). How many cycles will it take to get pregnant, E was 1 cycle (but he was an anomaly, he needed to be here before mom died) and M was 4 cycles (more of an average). Maybe I'm still in preparatory stage where I haven't really grasped that pregnancy is just around the corner, it still seems a far off idea rather than a tangible change to our family.
I feel level, I feel calm, I feel good excitement.

Starting -- Part II

My test results for my Infectious Diseases, Prenatal panel, Prolactin, TSH, Glucose and Insulin, Thyroid, and Kidney Function all came in on Wednesday, so I was given the clear to start taking the Metformin. I am taking two 750mg of extended release per day. I also am taking Prevara for 10 days to jump start my cycle. We could have waited until it happened on it's own, but not knowing when that might happen would only delay all of the rest of the procedures. The Metformin was rough on my stomach for the first 2 days but seems to be a little better today.
The next step is to wait for my cycle to start, call Dr. Moayeri, and make my appointment for the hysterosalpingogram for between days 9 and 12.
A still has to do his infectious disease screening, I'll try to have him do it next week. In the state of California, if there is going to be any IUI done, then the infectious disease screening is required by law.

It was pointed out to me that I should feel lucky for having a husband and child, other people don't have the opportunity to have what I have. Luck has nothing to do with this, I am blessed. I made the choice to date and fall in love with an honorable preisthood holder, and I am making the choice to ask Heavenly Father to expand my family. I didn't choose PCOS, but I am choosing to do everything I can to make my physical body prepared to receive yet another blessing. I'm doing my part and trusting in the Lord to do his part.

I am truly blessed.

Starting

In the past I've been very private about our fertility efforts and this time I'm putting myself out there with this experience. I believe we are given trials for not only our benefit but also to bless the lives of others. Maybe someone out in the blog-o-sphere might take comfort in or learn something from my experiences, maybe the someone will be me.

On Wednesday, we had our first fertility appointment with Dr. Moayeri here in Orange County. She comes with glowing recommendations by two of my friends. She was very friendly and knowledgeable about PCOS. I already know the medications that work for me in my efforts of getting pregnant and she is open to picking up that treatment again instead of trying to put me back on the medications that I know do not help me at all. (Unless you count getting fat and crazy as effective).

She did let me know that since I do have PCOS I need to be sure to have my primary care physician test me for Diabetes, Thyroid disease, and Metabolic Syndrome at least every other year.

She ordered up my glucose screening and infectious disease blood work as well as checking my thyroid levels and my kidney functions because of my PKD as well and will check with my ob/gyn since I already had my lipids/cholesterol checked there at my last pap.

She was friendly with Adam and included him in the conversation, which is important as well.

Her nurse called me on Thursday to let me know that my pregnancy test was negative (as expected) and my thyroid levels were good. She also stressed that if I remember to do nothing else, it's to call their office on the first day of my cycle.

I had my blood drawn yesterday (8 vials full, it was a lot), and will call on Monday to see if my results are in.

Avandia the insulin resistance medication I've used with success in the past has been removed from the market because of liver toxicity and heart failure in some patients. I'll start my Metformin as soon as she gives me the clear. I'll go in for another visit in one month to check if I've ovulated, if not then they'll give me an injection to start a cycle, and begin my Femara then. I also will have a hysterosalpingogram between days 9 and 12 of my cycle to make sure that my tubes are nice and clear, which apparently can help move things along easier just by having that done, kind of a roto-rooter.

Last Saturday I called every temple in the continental US and Hawaii (not sure why I left our Alaska, I'll include them next time) to put my name and a friend who is going through a rough patch right now, on their prayer rolls. Standard procedure for all temples except for a few is names to remain on the rolls for two weeks. I figured the extra prayers would benefit our family.

I'm feeling very optimistic at this stage. It is time for our family to grow, and I know that blessings come when we do our part, and in the case of my family expanding I have to do everything I can on my end to prepare my body to support an egg, and thus a baby. I believe in miracles, both of my boys are miracles, and God has not ceased to be a God of miracles. One will come. I have faith.

Good Reason

Yesterday was November 12.

I went to the beach at 2pm. Yes, yes, I did.

A good reason to pay the price of living in Orange County

Synonyms

I'm looking for a synonym to express my feelings towards my brother Brian.

At the end of September he donated a kidney to my dad.

Here is what the thesaurus suggests for my feelings about this:

acknowledge, be grateful, be indebted, beobligated, be obliged, bless, bow down, givethanks, kiss*, praise, say thank you, showappreciation, show courtesy, show gratitude,smile on

For some reason none of these words quite grasps what my spirit feels. Without his sacrifice things would be hugely different for me. My mom lost her fight with cancer and my dad is the parent I have left. Without Brian I may not even have him.

To him it was something that just needed to be done. To me it means I have a spiritual guide for tough times, an example of faith, a rock of reason, a papa for my boys, a friend for my husband, a provider of comfort, an example of righteous priesthood, an easy place to land.

If I could find a word in the English language that means humbled, relieved, peaceful, inspired, indebted, I would say it. But I don't, and the offspring of all those emotions is the one that I feel.

Somehow, 'Thanks' just doesn't even brush the fringes of my expressions towards my dear friend Brian.

Candy Apples

I had a great time making candy apples with my girls, Amy, Jodie, Lindsay, Jenny, Lori and Tiara.

Tiara is a great hostess and we had a super girls night while making yummy treats.

Seriously, getting harder to not get attached to this great part of Orange County.

Swirling

Swirling through my head lately:

I have become a weather wimp. I went outside and got in the car, it registered 78 degrees. A little more than a year ago, 78 would have been truly arctic.

Several weeks ago M and I were watching So You Think You Can Dance, it was the Tahitian dance night. M was enraptured watching it, finally he said, 'Mom, look at her bum!', nothing but awe expressed in his tone.

I went out to frozen yogurt with my OC girls, it was totally bizarre to be the person in the group with the oldest children. Most of my girls are around my same age, but either started their families later or got married later than I did. It was a strange feeling.

I used to think that my mom was B-O-R-I-N-G when she watched Masterpiece Theater on PBS, but now I see her logic. Everything is better with a British accent (I'm surprised you didn't know that).

Sitting at the dinner table and heard this coming down the stairs from the bathroom: 'I did it! I went poop! It's coming out! My bum is dancing! Dancing! Dancing!'

M reading Hezekiah: 'And it came to pass that Boba Fett was a good guy.'

There are phrases that I thought I would ever say, and was positive that if I did say them, it wouldn't be more than once per day. One such phrase: Take your hands out of your pants.

There are two things are the horizon right now. A want and a need. The thing I want, I want it desperately, and the thing I need I also want, but not quite as desperately. They can't both happen at the same time. I think I know Heavenly Father's answer, but it's my need and does not have an immediate gratification factor. I'm frustrated. I sometimes feel like Jonah, running away from the lesson rather than doing what I'm asked and trusting the Lord. Why do I fight the things I'm supposed to be learning? Struggling against the currents and feel like I'm drowning along the way, instead of floating on my back with them and letting the lessons and oxygen come easily.

The songs, 'Where It's At?', by Beck, 'Last Goodbye', by Jeff Buckley, 'Kiss' by Prince and anything by George Michael, always make me want to sing and shake my booty, two of the things that I'm sure my fellow gym goers do not want me to do.

The thing I love most about my new to me car is that it looks expensive, but we got it for a steal! I am a girl who loves a bargain.

Happy 7th Birthday E!

E turned 7 years old today! It feels so strange to know that on his NEXT birthday he will have the opportunity to get baptized.

He is growing so big, and I am so proud of the good person he is, for the good choices he makes, and the joy that he brings to our family.

Love this picture

This is his daddy's boy through and through.