Saturday, November 3, 2012


I have been remembering this moment of sweet justice.  I'm not sure why this has been playing itself out in my mind so frequently lately.  Perhaps because I have a Kindergartner right now.

This was back in the day.  None of this homework-doing, sight-word-learning academic type learning.  We are talking REAL world stuff like, your address, how to tie your shoes, how to sit and listen, you know, stuff that will be applicable forever.

I was at the 'listening center' where we sat at a half moon table with 4 other scholars, headphones on listening to a story then colored about what we had heard.  I was very good at listening.  I needed to use the bathroom.  I started to take off my headphones when Kenny (I have not changed his name in hopes of protecting the innocent, he is not deserving) said, "It's not over, stupid!" 

Not wanting to provoke a confrontation I put my head phones back on and continued to listen.  Problem was my bladder was only 5 years old and didn't know that listening center required an extra measure of capacity.  I couldn't maintain the hold. 

I wet my pants.

I sat in my wetness and finished listening center then dutifully shuffled to my next task, preparing for snack.  Mrs. Swanson approached me from behind, put a hand on my back and asked me if I had wet my pants.  Humiliated and scared I admitted the deed and was sent to the nurses office to wear a dry sheet waiting for my mom to bring me a change of clothes.  She brought me a red shirt and purple pants.  I didn't get the snack of graham crackers and orange juice (dipping graham crackers in orange juice is better than one might think).

Oh how I loathed Kenny.  He had brought me to shame.

First grade, Kenny and I did not share a teacher.   No pants wetting, no mismatched clothing, no more being robbed of snack time.  I dodged the bullet that year.

Second grade, justice was served: Kenny was held back to first grade.

I guess wasn't so stupid after all.

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