Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Starting -- Cycle II -- Days 1, 2 & 3

I started a new cycle on Sunday, which was totally unexpected since it would have only been day 16 of the first cycle. It was also the day that I finished my Femara pills. I wasn't sure if that was what was expected, so I called Dr. M. to ask. She called me back on Monday (one of my favorite things about this office is that the Dr. calls me directly, rather than through one of her nurses), she didn't have an answer why it would have happened, and had me go in for an ultrasound yesterday. She didn't see anything on the ultrasound that would explain why I'd started a new cycle, so she checked my estrogen and progesterone levels to see if I ovulated and we just missed it. She said that sometimes the Prevara can cause ovulation. She called me back in the afternoon to say that the blood works just looks like I started a new cycle. She was going to run a pregnancy test, she didn't think I was pregnant, but just to be sure...
She called me today to say that I for sure am not pregnant and to restart a Femara treatment cycle then to come see her on day 10 or 11. So I'll see her next Thursday or Friday.

I'm still feeling pretty unstressed on the whole. I was pretty concerned about starting a new cycle earlier than I anticipated, but not because I wasn't pregnant, only because it wasn't what I was expecting.

I appreciate every one's kind comments and your faith and prayers in behalf of my family.

The anger factor that I felt so prevalently in my previous fertility efforts is non existent. Before, I was so angry at people who seemed to have babies whenever they felt like and was certain that any ones concerns for me were not genuine. That because others couldn't understand my trials that their sympathy was pity. And I did not want anyone else's pity. While it's still true that others don't fully understand my personal trials, it's the same for me that I don't fully feel other's trials. Their love and concern for me are real and they really do hope and pray that my family will be blessed with more children. That just because it doesn't consume their thoughts and anxieties the way it does mine that overall, love is what they feel for me and the only service they can give on my behalf is to mourn, in their own way, my trials and exert their faith in sacrifice for my family.

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