Thursday, July 24, 2008

31 Years of Wisdom

Things I've learned in 31 years, some of it is serious, some not so:

1. If your brown sugar has hardened: grate it over a cheese grater.
2. An Austrian toilet bowl looks different than an American one.
3. Always accept an offered piece of gum/breath mint, etc. It may be the offerer's polite way of suggesting that you could use fresher breath.
4. Never ask a question that you don't want the honest answer too. And if you get an honest answer don't be offended by it.
5. Graham crackers dipped in orange juice = goodness.
6. Sink overflowing with dish detergent bubbles? Someone put liquid dish soap (not dishwasher detergent) in the dishwasher, and now it's a bubblin'? Sprinle said offending bubbles with table salt, it breaks up the bubbles, makes clean up much easier.
7. When choosing a pineapple do the top and bottom test: smell the bottom part, if it smells like a pineapple, that's a good sign. Pull out one of the top center fronds: if it gives way easily, another good sign. It will 99% of the time be delicious if these two tests are administered and passed.
8. Loving others is the easy part. It's liking that takes some practice.
9. The reason to have a clothes line outside: to keep electricity costs down. Arizona has ideal weather for this.
10. How to change a tire (picture me, pregnant, Ethan in the car, on I-5 between LA and Sacramento, about 95 degrees outside).
11. Friends keep in contact if they really care about you, that's why they're friends.
12. Naps are good.
13. It's easier to do chores right away rather than put them off: it really doesn't take that long, and the time you spend procratinating isn't worth the stress.
14. If you're not sure wether something is a prompting of the Holy Ghost, and the impression is not something that goes contrary to Gospel standards, follow the impression: all things good come from the Lord.
15. I can live without cable TV.
16. Cheese tastes best at room temperature. Austrian cheese is just plain terrible.
17. Driving off a cliff (even if it is only 3 feet tall), in a friend of a friend's mom's car that she bought for $300 is not a good idea.
18. Pull-up diapers are a big waste of money.
19. Fort Putnam is never open.
20. Boys who really want to kiss you will let you paint their fingernails green.
21. New Years Eve on Time Square is really cold!
22. How to say the alphabet backwards.
23. Noxema feels really good on a sunburn, but it also makes the sunburn worse after the cooling sensation disipates.
24. The reason why mom swore every year that she would not make anymore Halloween costumes, and then every year why she did it again anyway (I also learned most swear words from said lesson, as has Ethan).
25. How to train seeing eye dogs.
26. How to use the Paris Metro.
27. Sneaking a peek at your Christmas presents before Christmas morning, just makes Christmas morning anti-climactic.
28. Induction-heat cook tops are ultra rad!
29. The joy of coupons.
30. Storing onions next to potatoes makes the potatoes sprout eyes faster.
31. My faith is not dependant upon miracles. I've seen more miracles than I could think to share, I've also been blessed by not having several miracles given to me that I'd begged for. I still know that God lives, regardless.

It took me a really long time to come up with these tidbits of information. Perhaps someone will benefit from my somewhat miniscule amount of wisdom.

5 comments:

Jodi Reed said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALICIA!!!! You must be feeling wise in your old age! Love the post. You should send more wisdom our way, because I think I know less and less about everything all the time!

Amberly said...

graham crackers in orange juice? these are great bits of wisdom... I hope the next 31 years bring just as much joy, not so many diapers...

Jeff and Ashleigh said...

Grate it over a cheese grater? Really? I've always stuck a piece of bread in the container to soften it. But that doesn't help when I need it asap.

Totally agree with #13, yet somehow, I still always end up putting stuff off. Then I regret it later.

You'll have to fill me in on "induction heat cooktops" We're in the market for a new stove sometime in the near future, and "ultra rad" sounds pretty appealing! (I can't believe you said "rad!" That's too funny!)

Anne said...

I love you!!!

Matthew said...

I take credit for #2, though I'm not sure if that's a good thing, yet still....
I laughed quite hard when i saw that one on there.