Friday, August 23, 2013

Bee In My Bonnet

I've got a bee in my bonnet today and it's called 'Mommy Wars'.  The idea that because one mom doesn't run her family or live up to the standards of this other mom or expert, or doctor, or scientist that she isn't as worthy of the title of mother as those who follow that 'advice', that her children are doomed to failure and ruin and it is all her fault, she doesn't adequately love her children and frankly doesn't even deserve to even BE a parent.

Scrolling through Facebook today I saw a post that my friend has up which has the basic idea that teaching your children to sleep through the night using the cry-it-out method is super damaging to your children and they will have a harder time functioning in society because of the uncaring parents that they have.  I didn't read the article, but it put a bee in my bonnet anyway.
Believe me, I am far from a perfect mother.  And when I lay awake at night worrying about how much 'damage' I've inflicted on my children the LEAST of my worries is the fact that they are all soundly asleep in the next room and won't need me again until the morning.

Our family doesn't do a lot of things right:

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I have ONLY 3 children -  The Shame!
I went to a fertility doctor to have those 3 children -  What?!  Say it isn't so!
I delivered my children - at a hospital - using an epidural - and worst of the worst - via c-section (it's true, sorry to disappoint).
I nursed E. for 1 year, Mr. M for 6 months, and Miss M for 8 months and - say it isn't so- then switched to (gasp!) formula, you read that right - formula.
My children were sleeping through the night in their own beds by six months of age each, not because it came naturally to them, but because I worked on it with them.  They are sure to be sociopaths, apparently.
We eat meat, non-organic fruits and veggies, stuff with gluten, sugar in it and dairy (I know, we are all bound for diabetes and heart disease).
My kids are current on their vaccinations.
We watch TV and my kids play BOTH computer and Wii games.
They go to public school.
My kids play with toy guns and swords (Ack!  anything but that!)
There are some nights when we go to bed without having flossed our teeth.
My kids ride their bikes around the block without an adult present.
My kids bicker, yell at and annoy each other.

But, guess what else we do in our family:

We eat dinner together - every night.
We say our prayers.
We read our scriptures together (not every night, but we try)
We read non-scriptures together.
We laugh.
We smile.
We are honest with everyone.
We take walks together.
We go to the beach.
We go to the library.
We dance and sing.
We wrestle.
We play games.
We tell jokes.
We exercise.
We do hard work together.
We go to church.
We don't keep secrets.
We ENJOY each other.
We say please and thank you.
We are kind.
We are trustworthy.
We forgive each other.

There is not a single person out there who knows exactly the correct way to raise these people who we hope end up as successful adults.  I'm not excellent at it, I don't have all the correct answers, I have some regrets about some of my methods, but these little people are happy and well adjusted.  They love each other and are a joy to those around them.  I have enough to worry about without someone else telling me I'm doing it wrong.  My husband and I and more importantly: Heavenly Father think that we are doing a pretty good job at helping these angels learn how to be their fullest.  I refuse to compare myself with what other people think is the correct way.
I'm doing the best with the knowledge I have been given.

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